"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Monday, June 27, 2011


"Just pedialite for the boys," I remind him as he gets their cups ready.

"And where is the pedialite?" he asks.

"In the medicine cabinet," I answer quickly cleaning up another bout of sickness from one of the boys.

"And which cabinet is that?" he asks looking completely confused in the kitchen.

"The cabinet with the medicine, C," I responded with the biting sarcasm that would accompany any mother who had been nursing two sick children since the day after her husband returned from war. 

"Babe," he said, keeping very calm, but obviously frustrated, "I don't know which cabinet that is."

Oooohhhhh yeah ... oops. Of course he doesn't. He has never lived here. He doesn't know where to find a fork yet, let alone medication. Man, I'm dumb.

It is so easy to forget that our lives have been so very different over the past eleven months. It is so easy to forget that while we spoke nearly everyday, saw each other over Skype, told each other about our day to day, we did so from two different continents, that might as well be two very different worlds. It is so easy for me to become frustrated when he doesn't know something that seems so simple to me before I am reminded that he cannot know because he hasn't been here.

And he really got thrown into it. His very first morning home we woke up to not one but two very ill children. The day after he drove his new Jeep for the first time he spent hours cleaning out the result of that sickness from my car rather than joy-riding in his. He was thrown into a home that he had never stepped foot in before, where things were in places he couldn't possibly know. His clothes in places that he hadn't decided on. His things put in places that I had chosen.

How hard must that be to go from one place of complete control - where every decision was your decision, every placement of every item left to your choosing, every little thing being in your hands - to a house that you don't know, where your things have been unpacked for you and placed in places you may not have chosen yourself. Where you have to depend on the knowledge of someone else just to find a towel or a spoon or a a packet of pedialite for your child. Where your three-year-old-child knows where more things go than you do.

How strange that must be.

Lord, give me the patience. Lord, give him patience. Our two worlds must be made into one again and what a transition that will be.


  1. I have no doubt that your worlds will be one again soon. Praying for healing for the boys.

  2. They will soon. It won't take long. Just be patient for now. How horrible that the children were sick the day after his return. Hugs lady!

  3. Just found your site through MrsMamaHen. My own husband just returned from deployment two weeks ago and the poor guy is going through the same confusion. Where can he find a spoon? Where is the cereal hiding? What if he needs a towel? It doesn't help that I remodelled the bathroom while he was gone so everything looks different and is in a new spot. Best wishes to you and your family as you reintegrate!

  4. NOT looking forward to this part AT ALL. Hope the kiddos feel better really soon--that just added a whole new degree to the readjustment process.

  5. Thanks, everyone!

    Paige and Jamie - I'm sure you're right! : )
    Sarah - Amen, sista! Glad you can understand! ; )
    Lorena - We are doing okay just trying to be conscious of each other. Luckily we have seen really successful and really poor reintegration among families so we have a hold on it. Just takes a lot of patience and understanding! I can't wait to hear that your husband is home!

  6. We just went through something similar to this, although not after a deployment. My husband had been at Benning for a couple months going through some training and I was back home in the Midwest. He left on Christmas morning to report during exodus (dont get me started on that one! ) and after being apart 5 months and living 2 totally seperate lives I was able to join him (with our two dogs in tow).
    So really it was me that was coming into a situation that he already had routines, places for things, plans for the weekends...

    Definetly an adjustment period.

    And I finally unpacked the last box yesterday! (3 weeks later)

    Hang in there!

  7. Yay for homecomings! I'll pray for patience :)

  8. I am counting the hours til hubby is home!!!!! I so look forward to seeing him everytime I turn around, and then I remember just a little it, how hard it is to fit back in. And three weeks to our move. This is going to be crazy. Thanks for sharing part of your life with all of us.


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