"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

No Words

There are no words.


It is something that you know or you don't. You have felt it or you haven't. You have lived it or you can only imagine.

There are no words.

I knew that the song playing meant that they were about to walk in. I knew that when this song ended they would announce the arrival of the troops. I couldn't sit down. Everyone else was sitting. They didn't know. But we had welcomed C's men home last week so I knew. I. could. not. sit. down. 

"Ladies and Gentlemen," and then the screaming started. I didn't hear anything else that announcer said. I couldn't hear the person standing next to me. I don't know if I really heard anything. It wasn't until I watched the video on my phone back of them marching in that I realized just how much my body was shaking. There is no feeling like it on this earth. Chills, goosebumps, shaking, tears. And I hadn't even seen him yet. 

And then one soldier turned the corner and took the last step into the formation of 300 men and women  and I knew those shoulders. I knew that frame. I knew that stance. That was my C. Without question, without hesitation, that soldier was mine. 

"Look at me, look at me, look at me!" I thought over and over again while my eyes didn't leave that face on the complete opposite end of the assembly center. He stood perfectly still, as they all do, with his eyes very, very slowly scanning the crowd. "I'm right here!" my eyes yelled and then they met his. He saw me  and in his perfect stance he gave the slightest, slightest nod. No one else would see it if they weren't looking for it, but I did and that moment will be mine forever. There were so many tears. Hundreds upon hundreds of the tiniest, simplest tears. The first time we saw each other. The first time I could look into his eyes from - what felt like - forever away and know that we were US again. That in this huge center filled with hundreds of people all trying to find each other while remaining so very still, so very focused, so very strong, we found each other. No words. No waving. Nowhere near in each other's direct sight. We were pulled to each other. He found me while I yelled to him with my eyes.

You can tell me things don't happen like that. You can tell me that people can't feel each other like that and I will tell you over and over again that you are wrong. He found me out of the corner of his eye, across hundreds of people, without moving his head. That doesn't just happen. 

And then they released them to us and the crowd swarmed. Wives found husbands, daddies found daughters, parents found sons. In half a second the mob surrounded us, I saw my husband turn around to motion to one of his soldiers, and then he was gone and I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Where WAS he?" In the path between us that had been empty instants before were hundreds of families embracing, running, crying, cheering, laughing, smiling, kissing and I couldn't see my soldier. Desperately my eyes darted left, right, left, right. I couldn't see anything. I don't know if I could even process. He was gone.

And just like it happened the time before, my short, short body was standing on the bleachers looking left, scanning the crowd but not seeing anything that I wanted to see, when I heard it on my right, "You looking for me?" and there he was

There are no words. There are hundreds of tears, thousands of goosebumps, but there are no words.

To see our children hug their daddy. To see him kiss them. To see him hold them. To hear Logan yell, "Daddy!" and Eli softly say "Da-da" over and over again are incomparable to any joy I have ever felt in my life.

To kiss him. To see him. To know that he is here.

There are no words.

I have him. He's mine. He is safe. He is alive. My baby boys get their daddy back.

There are no words.

There are only tears. Hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds of the most beautiful tears.

My husband is home. Thank you, Lord, for keeping him safe. Thank you, Lord, for giving him back to me. Thank you, God, for giving the grace for the journey. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, God.

"Boots on the ground" - on this ground, on American soil.

There are no words.

No words but Welcome Home.


  1. Welcome HOME.

    PS> I believe it.

  2. Love it! Thanks for sharing!! I'm glad u write bc I'm so new to this lifestyle-its been a blessing to read ur blog! I cry just reading ur story and I'm thankful you wrote abt ur hundreds of tears at homecoming bc now I'll feel "normal" in a sea of seasoned military wives! :)

  3. I believe in that feeling and connection. It is an awesome feeling. Glad your family is back together!

  4. Amazing. I want to point everyone to this post and say, "This. It's like this." So beautiful.


  5. Welcome Home C!!!! Today I cried happy tears while reading this. I am so happy he is home safe with you and the boys.

  6. I am SO excited for you. I am SO SO SO SO SO excited for you, and for your husband and your family. I know this feeling. I've felt this feeling. I've lived it. I am so entirely thrilled for the both of you, especially for you. I KNOW what it's like to be you. The 'hurry up and wait' for what literally seems like forever.

    Yay! <3

  7. I am so so so happy for you! This just brought me to tears. Welcome home to your husband and enjoy having your family back together :)

  8. New follower here via Homefront United Network... Wow!!! You did an amazing job describing something that's so hard to describe.... Homecomings are overwhelming... and so wonderful! So happy for you and your hubby.... So glad he's back home!!! WELCOME HOME, soldier.... God bless you guys... :) - OliviaBlueMusic.com

  9. Ahhh this post gave me the chills!! I definitely know this feeling!!! Congrats on your homecoming and WELCOME HOME to your soldier!! <3

    I found you on the HUN page! <3

    xoxo, Amanda

  10. THANK YOU, everyone!!! We are so excited! Welcome to the new readers! I will be checking out your blogs!

    Thank you everyone for the INCREDIBLE support throughout this deployment! We have another hurdle ahead of us but I will write about that in the coming months. ; )

  11. Megan, I am so happy for you! So happy for you, so happy for the boys, so happy for C! Welcome home, C! I hope everyone is adjusting well. I know the boys must be so excited. And now your house can finally be a home!

  12. How wonderful! I have been following you for a while now. We are awaiting my husband's first deployment. You described this so beautifully. I am dreading the moment he leaves, but reading your husband's homecoming has painted such a beautiful picture in my mind. That is what I will focus on - making that memory for our family!

  13. Welcome home C!

    I just stumbled on your blog today, but man, I cried reading this. I love reunion posts!


I LOVE comments! Thanks for sharing : )