"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Lessons to Live By

Lessons I've been taught by others and some that I had to learn along the way:

Be kind. 
In big things, in small things, in all things, be kind

Think before you Speak.
If you don't know the facts (and even if you do), if it isn't harmful to you or dangerous to others, do not share it. Every rumor spread, can cause undue stress to a soldier and spouse, can ruin a marriage, can cost lives. If it doesn't hurt someone, if it doesn't put others in danger, if you don't know its accurate, if it serves no other purpose than to make someone else look poorly and to fill conversation, think before you speak.

Write in Pencil.
(Still working on this one)

Keep in Touch.
I don't think anyone is as good at this as Military Spouses are. I don't think anyone says, "If you're ever in __________, give me a call. We have a guest bedroom," and means it quite like a Military Spouse. We keep in touch and open our homes.

Everything is temporary. Before you know it, you'd have spent 20 years living among white walls. So hang your pictures, decorate the nurseries, paint.

Hope that in everything - it is going to be alright. Even when we cannot know, always hope.

Teach Her to Fish.
"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime."
Empower those new to this life; don't just enable them. We all need to be given the confidence that we can do this on our own but with the knowledge that we never have to. 

Plant Flowers

Thank the Veterans
Shake their hands. Give them a hug. Listen to their stories. Our lives would be vastly different if not for those who fought before. Never hesitate to thank them for it.

Take Pictures

Be in Pictures

Ask Him to Take Pictures

Learn to Say "No"
It is easy to want to do so much to help that we can neglect what is best for us and our soldiers - our families. In the times that you know you just can't give yourself for something, respectfully say "no." Most Military Spouses will understand - they have probably done so themselves.

Choose You Words Carefully
It is easy to forget when living in military communities, how little contact and communication some people have with our world. When someone asks something that seems silly, when someone just doesn't understand, when someone says something hurtful, remember you are of the 1%. This may be one of their only personal experiences with someone in our shoes. These moments can be defining moments. Take a breath, say a prayer, and choose your words carefully.

Lead by Serving
Some leaders are made because they hold others back to get there first. Great leaders are made because they helped others move forward. If you choose to lead in this life, do so humbly, do so in service, do so with the kindest of hearts. 

Keep Grace

Pray for your soldier. Pray for all of those who protect us. Pray for their families. Pray for those returning. Pray for those leaving. Pray for those training. Pray for those enlisting. Pray for those being commissioned. Pray for those who lead. Pray for those who follow. Pray for those who are wounded. Pray for those who care for them. Pray for our fallen heroes. Pray for those who mourn them. Pray for strength. Pray for courage. Pray for grace. Pray for peace.
Always Pray.

We are blessed to stand among the men and women that serve this nation. We are blessed to learn from each other. We are blessed to understand what it is to cherish someone in a way few people really can. We face heartbreak, we face unthinkable obstacles and we make it through. We rise above it. We support each other, we encourage each other, we share in this awe-filling journey. So - Celebrate it.

What have you learned? 


  1. Learn to say Yes, too. I find myself at times saying when others offer to help, because I feel guilty. I've gotten better, but there have been a couple of moments during this deployment where I was left kicking myself because I was too proud to say Yes. Military Spouses like to think we can do it ourselves, but we need others.

  2. Encourage the postive, walk away from the negative. Whether it's a habit, a "friendship", a job or a hobby, if it does not help you thrive, leave it behind.

  3. Wife of a Soldier:

    Yes! Totally learned this one time and time again. Last night, once more. If it's not good for you, if it's not beneficial, leave it.

  4. Wife of a soldier: GREAT one!! LOVE this! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Obey...

    This PCS (or the process leading up to it) has taught me to trust and obey...even when I REALLY don't want to, because God's plans for this family are bigger and better than my own.


I LOVE comments! Thanks for sharing : )