"You can paint?" she asked. I had checked into it when we decided to apply for post housing for the first time.
"Yes, I just have to paint everything back white before we move." She laughed.
Trust me, I know how silly it sounds. Really, I do.
I didn't paint our first house because we knew we wouldn't be there "forever." It took almost a year to really hang any pictures. Took almost two years for my husband and I to decide that mounting the TV to get it out of the reach of a toddler was worth patching the wall when we moved. I didn't plant flowers until the final spring we were in that house because what was the point of planting something I wouldn't enjoy when they got to bloom. I didn't turn the bonus room into much of anything until we were showing the house to rent. I didn't paint my first son's nursery because it was just going to be a "temporary" room.
We didn't build a fence. We didn't plant any trees. We barely did any landscaping. We didn't make that house a home - because it was temporary.
This time will be different.
I am going to paint. I am going to paint because for two years that post house is going to be my home. For two years my children will make memories in it and at some point scribble on the walls with a crayon that somehow wasn't in the drawer out of their reach. For two years I will invite people into my home - not a temporary place to stay. For two (maybe - crossing fingers - three) years I will cook in that kitchen and watch my children's faces brighten as they turn on the Christmas lights strung along our painted walls and through the garland wrapped around our banister. For two to three years two little brothers will share toys and color and build a friendship in a decorated, painted room with pictures hung on the wall and airplanes hanging from the ceiling.
I will plant flowers that will bloom for the next family that makes this house their home. I will plant flowers that will bloom for me and nurture flowers that will grow for them. I will make a welcoming entry for whatever spouse finds her way to my doorstep. I will take a cut of my mother-in-law's wisteria tree that was taken from her mother's house and plant it in the small yard and I will do it again every place that we go with the hopes that other's will do the same.
I will add color to our daily life, add our life to this house. I will take my time and my energy and turn just another house into another important part of our journey. I will make it ours while it is ours because all of the houses are temporary but the memories are not.
And what is so amazing about army wives and supportive parents is, even if they roll their eyes, even if they laugh at me too, they will take up a roll of blue tape and a paintbrush and a bucket (and maybe a glass of wine) and help to make a home with me.
Everything is temporary ... and I am going to paint!
"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
A House ... A Home
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Here here! I knew I was going to be here for only 18 months. I will actually have only lived here 12.5 by the time we leave. But I painted and decorated B's nursery because I knew I would regret it if I didn't. And paiting over it hurt my heart, but next time I'll be living somewhere for 2-3 years, the longest we've lived anywhere since college and I have already been picking paint colors for a home we haven't found. And furniture. Funny, on my end 2-3 years is about as permanent as a place gets!
ReplyDeleteI so wish I would've painted Logan's room! But I plan to make it up in the next house for both of them! We aren't totally sure how our timeframe is going to work out with the current deployment timelines but we are THINKING 2-3!
ReplyDeleteFlowers...I so vividly rememeber a front yard in full bloom, and a sign that read, "Yard of the Week", the "Yard of the Month", then one time "Yard of the year". My mom always planted beautiful flowerbeds when we lived on base. She made that housing our home, and now I look back and really appreciate what she did.
ReplyDeleteThat just made me even more determined and made me pouty face smile (if that makes any sense)! I don't need to win any awards! I just want to make it home! Thanks so much, Queen!
ReplyDeleteI truly do think this is one of the harder parts of active duty -- not having a place that you can truly call your own for an extended period of time. My husband and I have lived in our current house for 5 years, but I remember vividly the feel of apartment life. Paint your house Megan. Make it yours.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lorena!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I had planned to separate from the army this june, and due to the timing of his 2nd deployment we never PCSed between then and his ETS date. So we've been here for 5 years this month...it'll be nearly 6 before we get out of here. So it will be an adjustment for me to think of a place as a 2-3 year temporary home, but I LOVE your idea of making it a home no matter what :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! My husband was actually stationed at Ft Campbell for about 5 years but I was not there for all of it. We moved four times in one year (fun, fun!) so 2-3 sounds pretty good to me!
ReplyDeleteThank you for putting into words my last 4 yrs. I never painted our nurseries, and hesitated to decorate even with picts hung. This year, I convinced my Hubby that I "needed happy colors!" on my walls to help get me through the deployment. So far, 3 rooms are painted and 3 to go :)
ReplyDeleteWOOHOO!! Paint, Laura, Paint!!
ReplyDeleteYou know I say PAINT! And I love your last line. My fondest memories of Fort Campbell are painting rooms with good friends late into the night with all of our kids asleep in the next room. That is how you make lasting friendships that you can lean on when husbands and families are miles and miles away.
ReplyDeleteNikki Davis