"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Great Courage

You have heard me say before that we are placed where we are meant to be. That the way things happen are the way they are meant to. In the last week I have told myself these things again and again and again. 

And it isn't just during these several days that I have had to remind myself. It is not just with these uncertain changes that we all need to remind ourselves. It is anytime that an assignment comes up that we don't want, a location comes that we do not want, a job, or a unit, or a deployment, or a school, or a housing assignment, it goes on and on and on. 

The things that come up in our journeys that we do not want are the very things that can destroy it. The very things that take something from us that we don't get back. These are the very things that can put enough stress and strain on a marriage to end it.

How you face them, how you endure them, has everything to do with whether or not you survive them.

Whatever obstacle put before you exists to teach you who you are, what you can do. There is a purpose set within it.

The deployment C is facing makes my skin crawl. Speaking with another spouse today about the uncertainty surrounding it literally gave me continuous chills, goosebumps, my body was shaking. Everything about it makes me uncomfortable. 

But despite all of that, despite anything strangers tell me, or what I hear on the news, this deployment is going to happen. He will be leaving. I cannot change that. I cannot stop that from taking place. 

He will kiss us good-bye and board a plane with so much of what happens after that up in the air. Logan will have his first day of kindergarten without him present. Children will be born. Graduations will be missed. Loved ones will pass while they are away. Precious moments will happen and pass while they are not here. 

I can't change it. I can't stop it. 

These things will not go away.

But everyday until then and every day that follows after matters. Every day is given to us for a reason. Everyday is worthy of joy. Everyday is deserving of your whole heart, your complete self.

Every action that you take or do not serves a purpose, makes a difference along the journey. We are not promised to know the path ahead, to know when the rough spots will comes, to know how they will end. But you do choose how you make it through them.

It isn't always pretty. It won't be without tears. But there is another side to every hurdle, the simple reward of making it through, of not being beaten down by it waits on the other end. The strength that we gain is waiting.

This life takes your whole self. It takes every tiny, tiny speck that makes your character. It requires every ounce of courage God ever put in a woman.

And He made you the strongest of women. 

Whatever is looming ahead of you, whatever uncertainty, whatever fear, whatever obstacle, you are ABLE to live through it. You are ABLE to thrive through it, to learn from it, to gain strength in it.

Loving a soldier means letting him go with grace, holding his hand when there are no words, smiling through tears, trusting in the journey, and living every single day - apart or together. 

You are a woman of greatest courage. There are thousands just like you, thousands more who have lived through this, who have lived IN it, and have come out stronger. Thousands who were given this life because they were able to love through it. There are thousands more who will follow behind. 

Show them your joy.


  1. Thank u. u have no idea how much this meant to me.

    1. H,

      You are so very welcome. When I wrote this I felt like "someone" (besides me) needed to be reminded. : )


  2. I needed this today. It's so easy to forget how strong you really can be. Thanks MOM :)

  3. Thanks you for this post!! This one really hit home with me more recently. I was prepared to let my husband deploy with his "desk job". They all share the same dangers, but lets face it a "desk job" would lessen the likelihood of him leaving his fob, which for me meant less worrying. Recently, my husband took his first company command...so long "desk job". While this is what he was trained to do, what he has wanted for quite some time, this was NOT what I WANTED! My worries will undoubtedly increase. I will also have days of saddness(He's been my best friend for close to 15yrs now and my children's best playmate). I am a woman of faith as you, so when the worries and saddness get to being too much, I turn it over to The Almighty. My God is sovereign! I have to have faith in my husband as well that he knows his job backwards and forwards and does it to the fullest, just as he has faith in me to do my job back at home. It may not be what I wanted, but it IS what I have been given! And as the saying goes..."its up to me to find the beauty in the ugliest of days". ~S

    1. S,

      yes, yes, yes. Everything you said: Yes. You have no idea how much I am right there with you.

      Thank you!!

  4. Beautiful! It's so true, we have to trust in the journey and make the most of every single day. It can be difficult to step back and see it, but there is something incredible to come out of every difficult experience--even deployments. My husband and I have had the opportunity to have conversations and define our love, respect and support for each other in ways that some people may not experience ever in their marriage. Sometimes there are little blessings throughout even the most painful obstacles.
    We are here because we can handle this, we can find the strength, courage and grace to love our heros through all of the stress that comes with their military service.
    Thank you for this and for your great courage! You are such an inspiration!

    1. The inspirations are the thousands of military wives just like you who FIND THE GOOD, LOVE their husbands, their partners, and EMBRACE every single part of this journey. Thank you for doing that for your soldier. YOU - and the women just like you - inspire ME. Thank you!

  5. Keep writing woman! You write so beautifully! You write from not just your own perspective, but from all military wives (and husbands)! You need to collect all your blogs and make a book to publish for strength to all woman! You give us strength with your words- thank you!!!!

    1. THANK YOU!

      Writing a book would be my absolute dream. Truly. I would feel like I needed to shake the hand (okay, probably HUG) every person who owned it. : ) Every time I get to meet someone who reads the blog I am amazed by their strength and determination to thrive through and to help others to do the same. YOU give me strength. I am so very grateful for every single reader - military and civilian, soldier and spouse.

      Thank you for your kindness and for taking the moment to comment. I don't think I could stop writing. ; )

  6. Thankyou so much for writing that. My partner enlisted into the Australian Army 6 months ago and is still going through all the training, won't be finished for quite a few months yet. While he's not in danger, I am still learning to deal with the separation and today I reflected on how different I am now, and how strong I am. He rang to tell me his training time has been extended by 2 months and I reacted so differently to how I would have just a few months ago. At first, this caused me so much anxiety as I thought that we were growing apart and I didn't care... But then I just realised that I was getting stronger and finally learning the ability to not obsess and stress about things out of my control! A breakthrough for a control freak like me, haha.
    It was awesome to read this, I read it at a perfect time.

    1. HOW WONDERFUL!! I, too, have had those moments where I realized that I reacted in a way FAR BEYOND how I would have in the past. It's the moments when you realized you have built up your armor a bit more, that you have become stronger, and better prepared and ABLE.

      I love my Aussies!! You all always make me smile when you comment and email! Safety to your soldier and strength to you. : )

  7. Again another one of your post that was needed. I have been going through some very difficult things over the last week and this helps. Thank you

    1. Katie Mac, I'm sorry I was so late to respond! PLEASE shoot me an email if you need to talk through something. Prayers heading your way!

  8. My Fiancee is in Army Training and reading this blog just brings to reality the task that is ahead for me as an army husband, I now pray for her more than I did before and pray more for our family,

    This really touched me and allow me to alter gender here, "Loving a soldier means letting 'her' go with grace, holding 'her' hand when there are no words, smiling through tears, trusting in the journey, and living every single day - apart or together. "

    Thank you for the encouragement and insights you bring forth.


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