"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


Today was a hard day. The hits just keep coming. Life won't slow down ... or speed up ... or slow down. It's moving too fast where I don't want it to and too slow where I do. There are more unknowns. Mixed feelings. The back and forth, the jerking around of emotions.

The stresses of this life are tremendous. 

Gone or here. Deployed or safe. Training or on leave. 

Each stage of the cycle brings its own challenges. Each unknown brings its own bit of worry. 

This life will break your heart. This life will bring moments that make you feel like you are falling apart. Like you cannot take one more thing. 

There will be days when all you want to do is pull up the covers and sleep through it. When you want to scream at people who deserve it. When every piece of you swears you are about to break.

There can be incredibly dark moments along the journey.

No part of this is easy. Lovin' C ... that, that is easy. But that is the only part.

Every other part of it takes an extra breath to make it through. Takes a moment of closed eyes, of prayer, of understanding, of grace, takes a patience that most have to fight for. Wondering when that deployment will come, if it will come, where it will be to, all takes something deep to breathe through it. Watching daily news during a time of unrest hits us a bit harder. Evening broadcasts are far from "easy" to watch. Seeing the flags flying at half-staff ... that takes a moment to breathe through.

I will never tell you that loving a soldier is easy. I will never tell you that this life is for everyone. I will tell you every moment of every day is a little harder than it is for many.

I will tell you that we all break.

Watching your child begging daddy not to leave is not for the weaker heart. The automatic reaction to suck in air when there is knock on your door that you aren't expecting never goes away. The nights are far from easy. Everything will go wrong at the same time. Saying goodbye never hurts less.

People will always misunderstand. Ignorance will always hurt. Someone will always ask the "wrong" question.

I will never say any part of this is easy. Almost every part is very, very hard.

I will tell you, you were chosen. I will tell you, you are placed for a purpose. I will tell you despite the hardest days, the darkest trial, somewhere deep is the resolve to triumph.

I will tell you this path is worthy. That you are able. That you have what it takes.

Even on the days every part of you says that you don't.

You do.

In the deepest part of your self, you can find courage. In the scariest parts of the journey, you can be brave.

No part of this is easy. No moment will be without fear. But I will tell you this life is beautiful. I will tell you this life is worth the struggle. There is honor in service, goodness in sorrow. The heartache lets you feel. The difficulty allows you to learn. The fear makes you value life.

Your spirit builds its armor. Your heart will always endure. The good will always find a way.

You will find the strength to find the joy.

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