While sitting up in bed, with C miles and miles away, I came across something that spoke to me. It gave me chills.
Many military spouses that I have known and do know and will know have a way of thinking that I believe over time can wear on a marriage. The "I live this life, so you owe me." "I am still here, so you owe me." Or when we find out they will miss an anniversary or a valentine's day or a birthday some whip it out, "You owe me for this."
I get why some spit out the words. I get that sometimes it feels like we give so, SO much to and for our soldiers. And we do. Goodness, we do give much.
But at no time, in no instance, have I ever felt like C "owed" me. That I better get my due.
Because when I said the vows I swore to love him - even when love for country takes him from me. I swore to honor him - even when honor comes first. I promised to carry him, to stand beside him, to stick with him even in those tiny moments when for just a second, one tiny, tiny second I feel like I am doing it alone.
I promised to give him all of me. To honor the vows. To thrive through this life. To love him and love him and love him in each moment, through the hard moments, through the lonely moments, the nights alone and the days that last forever. And I promised to never demand an "I owe you." He owes me nothing for my love and determination and gratitude and joy and hope and pride but to have the same love and respect and joy for and with me. And he does.
He owes me nothing more for living the vows as he lives his vows to both me and to a nation.
Never a "you owe me". Not once. Not ever.
Because great love between two, coupled to form one, makes for one incredible journey. It leaves no room for "you owe me's". No room for keeping score.
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Be sure to check out the give-away going on HERE!
Be sure to check out the give-away going on HERE!
I feel like I need to comment on every single one of your posts, because I love them all so much. This one is so beautiful, and so true, and something I try to remind myself when it feels like all I do is give. Thank you for your blog; which gives me courage, and a fantastic way to approach this Army life.
ReplyDeleteYou can comment whenever you want!! I love everyone's comments. They do much to encourage me.
DeleteTHANK YOU for commenting! and thank you for reading!
Sooooo true!!!!!
ReplyDeletethank you, H!
DeleteAMEN! My husband and I had a conversation similar to this the other night. He's been hearing of a lot of infidelity and failed marriages at the training school he's in right now. People with a "you owe me" mentality will never be satisfied. I'm so thankful for a husband who loves me beyond words, and I love him with just as much fire! He does not owe me anything, because I chose this life . . . to be with HIM! Marriage is about the ups AND the downs. No one ever said marriage would be easy. It's hard work, but it is oh so rewarding!
ReplyDeleteEXACTLY, Lydia!! Exactly! Thank you for sharing!!
DeleteWe owe each other nothing but love.
ReplyDeleteI love that quote! (Isn't Pinterest grand!). Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteOh my it is!!! Love it!
DeleteSuch a wonderful quote, I believe that it's from "Eat, Pray, Love". That book is absolutely amazing and filled with such wonderful things about love.
ReplyDeleteThis may be one of my new favorites! I can bet that it will be on my wall somewhere soon!
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