"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Beauty in the Old

I was clearing out even more little boxes that were sitting the corner of our room. These things were mostly C's and he hadn't touched them and they were beginning to drive me a little nuts. I sorted through little bits of gear that were loose pieces, thumb drives, coins, etc. and then I came to a boot box. It had been shoved in different places so often, been through so many moves, that the corners had begun to bend inward and the cardboard had become weak. It was so light that I almost discarded it without looking but as I went to pitch it I felt a slight jerk in the box. I opened it to take a very quick peak to be sure it was trash and I didn't move for a moment. 

It had everything.

Every card. Every letter. Every single word that I had written him that first deployment was in that box. 

Every. Single. One. 

I sat on our bedroom floor, while our boys slept in their room and C was at work, and read every card, every letter, every word. And then I read them again.

They had been worn by his hands, the creases had been softened by being unfolded and refolded. Words were smudged where his tired fingers had pressed too hard after a long patrol. Tear stains remained from the tears I had shed when I wrote them. They were beautiful.

And then a pain hit my heart. I hadn't written C a single letter this last deployment. I had sent cards and I had filled the card stock side but had not sent a single, hand-written letter.

I emailed. I emailed every time I didn't talk to him that day, or just because, or to send a picture of the boys doing something funny. I emailed all the time.

We Skyped for the second half of the deployment. We Skyped nearly every day. It was instant gratification. It was amazing. It was very much a blessing.

But it didn't give him anything to physically carry. It didn't give him something to go back to. It didn't give him anything to fold and unfold. To read and reread. To carry in the breast pocket of his uniform. It didn't give him something to save in a beaten up shoe box and to hold onto until we have grown old.

He only has cards from this time. They are something but they are not the same. Those letters are absolutely priceless.

Write to your soldier, or your marine, or your airman, or your sailor. Write long, long romantic letters. Write short, sweet ones too. Write funny ones. Write your heart. Write your sadness. Write your joy.  Spray them with perfume. Do it old school.

Technology is wonderful. I would never give it up. Not for anything. But I didn't realize I had given up that beauty. I didn't realize I had deprived him of that love.

There is beauty in the old ways.

Priceless beauty.


  1. Letters really are something worth holding on to. My soldier and I wrote letters many years ago while he was still in boot camp. We found them just under a year ago and sat out on my parent's porch and read each one out loud to each other. Tears streamed down my face when I read the words he so lovingly wrote me. I had almost forgotten after all these years. I wouldn't take back those letters for anything. I'm definitely planning on writing letters more often.

  2. Last year, when J went to his first training we were together I bought a box of note cards and write him one for each day he'd be gone and hid the box in his gear. He said his guys couldn't believe that he actually saved them for each day. This year, his training was two and a half weeks before our wedding and things were so crazy that I didn't have time to do anything for him. As we were unpacking one day I found them in his stuff in the same silver box I had stuffed into his gear.

  3. My boyfriend is a die hard romantic (but don't tell his guys haha) and has all the letters I've sent in our entire relationship. While he's home on block leave we're putting them together in a binder for him to have them all consolidated in one place. It'll be quite the task but I look forward to re-reading everything from the past 6+ years.

  4. My soldier and I write to each other even if we see each other every other week. From the day we met, we've written, and I hope we do this for the rest of our lives. I have a box that I can open up and read a letter whenever I want. It's been saving both of us for this deployment... it's about the only thing he can send me that he's held with his own hands, and it means the world when I get one in the mailbox. Before he left, he wrote a bunch of memories of us and put them in individual envelopes, so when I can't take it and miss him too much, I can open one up and relive each glorious memory. Thanks for this post and every other post!

  5. Thank you all for commenting! There is really nothing like a hand written letter. Nothing.

    Anusha, that is AMAZING! Please, NEVER stop!
    Dani - What a great Idea! I know you will enjoy that!
    Jamie - thank you for the suggestions you sent me for the next several weeks! I will get on it right away. : )
    Cate - how wonderful to read together. Beautiful!

  6. My RM boyfriend is about to deploy in the next few weeks, and this is something that I have to do. We don't go massively for the movie-style romance, but I know this will mean so much to him. Thank you for the obvious, and beautiful idea.


I LOVE comments! Thanks for sharing : )