"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Livin' Like He Leaves Tomorrow

It happens.

One day there is a deployment looming. Then there isn't. Then there is. Then it's to somewhere else. Then they aren't deploying. Then they are. Then they aren't.

It happens. 

I have heard this every where. Everyone hearing another rumor, another change, another place, another time. It seems to be happening every where. I have heard the same echos from friends spread across the nation.

They are deploying, then they aren't.

They aren't and then they are.

People are leaving with two-months notice. People are preparing with eighteen months ahead of them.

We are all being jerked in one direction or another. I can't tell you into which one of these we fall. I can't tell you into which one of these we were in last week or will be tomorrow. Jerking here, a jerk there. One mindset, another. One heartbreak, one sigh of relief. 

It may be just enough to drive you mad. It drains your sanity, your understanding of reality. What is true, what isn't. 

Who knows.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Ups and downs.

It's beyond tiring.

 Tomorrow I may hear something different. Tomorrow you may hear something different. And then two weeks later is will probably change. It seems to be where so many of us are. 

As the changes in info come, as the changes in timelines and if's and when's continue to bombard our hearts with one emotion after another, I am choosing to live in the same way. I am choosing to put the rest out of my mind and live in the very same way, regardless of what that day's rumor brings.

I am loving him like he is leaving tomorrow. Supporting him as if it is always a "when" rather than an "if". When they are deployed there aren't any "if's". We ignore the "if's". We shut them out. Remove them from our minds and focus on the "when he comes home." 

No "if's". Never "if's".

He is training for the mission. He is preparing for battle. He is gone more than he is home because of what is coming. 

I don't believe in "if's". 

As hard as it may be to not get my hopes up at the rumors that may circle, as much as I want to cling to that "maybe they aren't going", I know that at some point, at some point, they will go. 

They always go.

So focus on every day you have and live it like it is preparing you for the battle. Live it like it matters because every day is worthy. Every day is valued. Every day must bring joy to hold onto for the journey that is always waiting before you. 

Prepare as he prepares. Love as he loves. Wait as he waits.

Live in the unknown and claim it. Do not sink into it. Live every single moment, every single day, as if he deploys the next. 


  1. Thank you for this! So fitting for us right now. Just what I needed to hear. As a person who hates change (I know...married to a soldier...God has a sense of humor) it's a comfort to me to know you can sympathize.

    Even though in my head I know that God is in control and has everything planned out, it frustrates me that I don't get to see the plan ahead of time. Thanks for the reminder to not worry about everything else (for me - to get carried away with my to-do list) and to make sure we spend all the time we can with our husbands.

    - Sarah

  2. Such a perfect mindset for a soldier's (or Sailor's!)spouse to have. You nailed it, sister.

    BTW: happy Month of the Military Spouse. (bwahahaha)

  3. Before my husband and I even married (He was in the army.), he told me to never believe anything until it actually happened! I quickly learned how true that was!

  4. You are a literary genious!! Seriously.. Everyone has feelings and emotions but to be able to put them so well into words.. Now, thats a gift.. I cant go through most of your blog enteries without not crying or fighting that lump in my throat.. Accept my congratulations.. Already i feel like you are a part of my life.. Almost like a friend.. I feel love towards your kiddos and my heart breaks when they miss their daddy.. Wishing you a lifetime of love and happines with your family.. Stay blessed :)

    Priyanka Rai.


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