"A soldier doesn't fight because he hates what is in front of him. A soldier fights because he loves what he left behind." - unknown

"God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and make us strong" (ps 46:1). For those who will fly today, for those who are there now, and for those who will soon join the fight, Lord, shield them from all evil, strengthen their hearts, and bring them home safely.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A Sense of Entitlement

A friend and I were discussing spouses and family members who carry a sense of entitlement - that "You owe me" attitude. Another friend just today brought up the same frustrations.

I know we are not all alike. I know that we all have different personalities, opinions, upbringings. I respect that. But, there is little more in this life that frustrates me like the 'entitled's' that taint the image of the American military.

I hope that in every single thing I do I honor my husband, his sacrifice, his comrades. You can twist that however you want, say it makes me weak, say it has me living his life and not mine. You would be wrong, but you are allowed to be. I am an Army wife - yes, I am a wife, a woman, a mother, a sister, a daughter - but to so much of the world I am that one title. The wife of a soldier. I know we all have different opinions on that. Some hate it, some embrace it, some cling to it, some depend on it.

Some use it.

However you see it or define it or feel about it is your choice. I choose to see it as an honor. I know it as a blessing. To be an Army wife, to love a soldier, has been one of my greatest joys.

Not because it gives me any extras, or something free, or because it gave me ten percent off my washer and dryer.

It is my honor to know those who serve. It has been my honor to stand beside my husband every time a Vietnam vet, or a stranger, or a child, or mother shook his hand, or hugged him, or tearfully bought him a coffee. It has been my honor to live and thrive beside those who are just as committed as I am to embrace this life.

It boils my blood when someone causes a scene because a company no longer offers a military discount or runs out of something they are giving away or demands some special of any kind. It angers me to know that the people who witness such a thing may never experience the majority of us. That this one image may be the only one they will ever have to carry about those of us who marry into this life. It is so very hard to get that back.

I try in everything to honor my husband and those who serve behind him. If I am going to hold the title of "Army wife" then I represent them. What I do or do not do leaves a permanent image to any observer who recognizes the life I belong to. My husband would never ask for anything, never expect anything, most certainly would never demand anything. Neither should we.

We live a life of service - not demands. Be the example. Live with gratitude - always, always, always be grateful.

For whatever is given.

Our soldiers are deserving of the greatest of gifts or praise of goodness. They are deserving but would never expect or accept or demand. My greatest gift that I receive daily is in the goodness of this life, in the strength I see in a new spouse, in the absolutely pride and gratitude I have for my husband. To live this life is a gift, a privilege, an honor.

We are not entitled to anything for choosing this. We are given Grace, and Joy, and Strength.

Those are the only 'perks' I need.

Be grateful. Be humble - in everything. Walk with Grace.

Honor the life you hold.

Honor those who protect it, allow for it.

Always, always, always, give thanks.


  1. This is so true. Sweet Boy always rolls his eyes when I tell him to ask if some places give military discounts (like Verizon or some restaurants) because we are on a budget and it always helps to save. But he never asks. He doesn't want to draw attention and make it look like he is asking for a handout. It is his duty and his honor to serve this country, and he doesn't expect anything in return. Our servicemen are a special breed! (However, I did chuckle to myself when you talked about the discount for your washer and dryer--I'll have to keep that knowledge in my pocket for later!)

  2. My husband never asks for a discount at places, and I think would prefer not to have the attention drawn to him. He doesn't serve to get special benefits. I don't usually ask either, unless I see a sign or know that they are running a special discount for military families. I love the places that offer the discount because I think it is a wonderful way to show their gratitude, but it drives me nuts to see those who expect or get angry when their is no discount. I love this life and would be a part of it without any special benefits. I agree with you on this one totally.

  3. I APPRECIATE stores and places that offer the discount. But like you, I don't ask unless I know they do it.

    When I worked retail in TN, that frustrated me to no end because the store I managed didn't offer one and people would chew me out all the time calling me unappreciative. Took everything in me to hold my tongue.

    Cate - I am very thankful for that 10% off my washer and dryer. : )

  4. This is so true, and I've run into wives like this myself. Thank you for posting this!! Great job.


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